Monday, 4 May 2026

Protect yourself, there are people

 


Protect yourself, there are people

There is a she wolf howling at the moon.
Howling at anything looking like the moon.
In her teeth she's tossing about the body.
Tearing insides from out of the body.
Jolting the body into motion.
It doesn't matter who's blood she's drawing,
Doesn't matter the black crow cawing.
Instinct and wolf spit only.

I can smoke pensively, if it helps you.

There is a soul worn thread thin.
Tattered knot bloodshot insane bone saw.
Bone instrument.
In it for the love of the game, not the win.
Litheness stiffened and voice rottened long ago.
It's a snake wearing my skin.
Forcing reanimation.
Jolting the body into ritual.
I lurch and I growl.
Instinct and wolf spit only.

I can do more or less, if it helps you.

I want to lay perfectly still, flat as moonlight.
I want the impression in flesh from fallen pines.
I want damp dirt squeezed between my fingers.
I want the slick storm to pass over, nothing to
Jolt my body into earthly communion.
I want to hoist my flag in omnipotent surrenders.
But it's not unstained, barely white now.
Instinct and wolf spit only.





Thursday, 2 April 2026

After the minute's silence comes the encore


 

This is... After the minute's silence comes the encore


When I was young I struggled to express my fate.
Well, today my insides are still out of tune to
articulate
Just how I'm feeling about it.
Nothing gets in or out.

Zeus smoked a large cigar
at my rocking cradle
He gifted me an iron key.
It unlocks all meaning but won't fit a safe answer.
A fable
but I see:
A sky above that will never be 
the same again.
A sky up there and that won't ever change.
I am a universe: no more, no less what I can contain.
At times I do feel new, I confess.
I can't help what I'm feeling all this particular evening.
It's in my DNA to believe in souls and black holes and 
Shooters on grassy knolls.

This is something to break the minute's silence.
Like a thunder storm is something to break the minute's silence.
Like my confession is something to break the minute's silence.
The silence will always be here.
The breaks will always be here.
Nothing is lost, nothing is gained.
You and me and every songbird forever the breaking silence.


Monday, 30 March 2026

Mendicine




To me - and what I tried to do - in this poem is write exactly what my teenage self would have wanted to write. It has all that teenage cool hormonal angst I had to it. It feels confessional, which I wanted. It feels like it is trying to break out of as yet undeveloped way of expressing something, anything. And that came easy as I still struggle to articulate. It's a poem that wishes it could be better, but realises it maybe just needs to be there at all.

It has that grunge to it.

This is... Mendicine


My timing's slightly off.
Plead with a squall:
A little more time over there.
Voice cracks into a beg:
A little less time over here.
Not grief enough for the living.
Comfort myself by consoling the dead.
I'm sickly when I'm sweet.

Watching myself pass right on by me.
Are my convictions based on muscle memory?
A conscientious voice on a whim
I'm no longer
Invested in?
Don't conflate politeness for my acceptances.
Take another bitter pill.
Take another happy pill.
Take another pill
to stop being ill.

Watching my language whenever I can.
"A sensitive boy" is some euphemism to a man.
Well you know I perfectly am.
Sensitive to motherfuckers
Spending beautiful days.
Sensitive superpower at locating our differences.
Take another calming pill.
Take another caffeine pill.
Take another pill
to stop being ill.

Waiting for the mendicine to kick in.

Watching the needle of the record player.
Played B side so much its flipped the A side grooves over.
Spinning reasons to be beside the living.
Some are bloody minded.
Some are forgiving.
Sometimes the bride, sometimes monstrosity.
Take another patchwork pill.
Take another tailormade pill.
Take another pill
To stop being ill.

Watching the surrounding walls closing in.
Knowing they are paper dry and just as paper thin.
I pretend in the room when I said
That the walls are built
of solid lead.
To stop them stopping me torching them with flamethrowers.
Take another paranoia pill.
Take another mind expanding pill.
Take another pill
to stop being ill.

Watching corkscrew chain reactions spiral.
In a fuzzy summer afternoon suburban smog roll.
I threw them out like sickly sweets.
Don't think I don't hear these
Under floorboard heartbeats.
Hands shielding eyes from the blinding flash of consequences.
Take another ten dreams per hour pill.
Take another anti-nightmare pill.
Take another pill
to stop being ill.

Take another pill to get down.
Take another pill to swallow.
Take another pill to endure the collateral. 
Take another pill to be unconditional.
Who made whom; it doesn't matter at all
We won't always be able to
touch the way we want to.
Take another pill to numb all the pain.
Take another pill to feel it all again.
Take another pill to be unreliable
narrators.
Take another pill to be uncompromisingly
put on this earth for.
Take another pill
To be what we always will be
To the other.

I don't need to take another pill.
I don't mind being ill.
It's not the getting better but the scarring.
It's not about the healing but the mending.
Not a rapier blade, but a hickory bow bending.
I hear the sound of arrows whistling.
It's the sound of the mendicine kicking in.






Friday, 27 February 2026

Long Jolly Crossbones

 
This is... 
Long Jolly Crossbones

Breaking light over flowing on your high seas.
Playful shines upon them quick silver.
And you told me this was treasure.

Under colours hoisted into vaulted skies.
We hanged our enemies to the yardarm.
And you told me this was freedom.

A crow's nest sighting of the world's edge.
The old charts declared: "bad omen!"
And you told me this was living.

So you set course by canon grey clouds.
And sashay between opium puffs.
And you told me this was the true compass.

And I sailed on your high seas!
Felt your body writhe in swelling waves.
And I sailed on your high seas!
You held me with a thousand fathoms.
And you told me this is ritual.

We floated on backs out in the vast and formless maths.
In the iron caldron, huge shadows in torus stirred the depths.
In celestial constellations we saw the sublime.
In Northern Lights saw their minds spill out.
And it was then we made up our minds nothing was Divine.
And I wished upon every shooting star I saw
I'd never feel earth beneath me anymore.
The bite was a natural good. The calluses came 
From holding tight.
The sea sickness was plenty. But the sickness thrilled me.
But all voyages discover shores eventually.
Even when sailing in your high seas.
I said, we are organisms in an organism world
Everything just a conceptual design
Of yours and mine.
We go where the wild wind picks up sails we unfurled.

You told me:
"You wish an undertow will carry you far
Where the only lines left are the straight horizon
And sparkling  tail of a shooting star.
To hold faster yet in a sweeping perfect maelstrom. It breaks
Down, the din, upon you and you push back with all your might.
Like beauty, it will pass by.
Know this:
The most enduring ships are wrecks.
Throw the jetsam, throw the flotsam.
Let them
wash up on someone's heart.
The ocean can be mistress or lover,
Distress or comforter.
It can reflect or refract.
Tentacles sometimes pull wishbones apart.
Spirits sometimes run aground on humanity.
Shipmates sometimes shift into mutiny.
Springboards sometimes are just short planks for longing.
A bow clipping through water can be clipped wings
in fallen tears from a crying shame.
Winds on the tundra can sound like confessional howls,
or the sound of prayer.
And, again, I see you walking on water,
Only the first time I didn't see your ankles wet.
And sea green meadows are green from algae,
Choke-hold with weeds and overgrown ivy.
Nothing matters: Not any ship,
Not the opera singing siren. Not the 
the jagged reef."

And you told me
You knew the melting point of portraits.
And you told me
The length of chain doesn't make it easier to break.
And you told me
This sea chest is full of pulled out gold teeth.

You marooned me.
Left me an X on your map.
What a cruel thing.
Left me lost though left me exactly where I am.
Cast adrift on an island of tidal sands.
And I've named each grain you.
And I look out
At your high seas.
Rolling in an out like your breath.




Thursday, 22 January 2026

A monkey on an expedition to circumnavigate the face of God

 


This is only a mood piece.

This is...

A monkey on an expedition to circumnavigate the face of God


You hurt me just the right amount.
Set me up just as a body count.
Surround me in ways so few ever do.
By a Japanese master's brush strokes.
My spine is a needle and its being threaded through the canvas.
When existence is only by texture thickly layered onto texture.
Elementals thrashing into spume.
Like peacock feathers in full bloom.
Lipstick spit; nylon dipped; hot wax dripped; cityscape stripped
To the teeth bared back.
Lens flare headlights and growling exhaust pipes.
Copper eyes glinting out the dark.
Out in these lupine days just bright enough.
Everyone sticking onto everywhere from obsessional sweat.
Shirts peeled from surfaces, shoes fetishised in their purposes.
You hurt me just the right amount.
You know I'm your devout.
Seize me as a relic you possess.
Release is slow; every breath as ghosts.
My spine is a weeping tree: leaves may fall but branches remain.
Where you can't see my ribs for the vines laced good and tight.
Skeleton shows sharpened marks from flint.
Sharpened cutlass to slice through the all of it:
Purging flame; curse blowing hurricane; human detonating pain
Of a nuclear blast.
All consumed bones are getting exhumed.
Rake over ashes to see what's glinting out the dark.
I'm in these lupine days just bright enough. 
Time as Witness metamorphoses its final form of Time as Absence.
When existence is only folding matters into madness.
When my existence feels like texture.
When my existence feels like time running out.
You hurt me just the right amount.
Draw a chalk outline around what I adore.
When rain is passing, knocking on new town doors, 
And softening dirt to get the bodies out.
Ends tend not to be wrapped in bows, but in shrouds.