Sunday 18 November 2012

We all want to be mediocre local rock stars

I was out running a shopping errand this week. As a reward to myself, I decided to look at getting something for myself too while shopping.

Walking with purpose into the department store near closing time, my shopping was marked with a security guard following me and then the girls at the tills giggling at me.

What sort of society do we live in where late at night a man can't walk into a deserted out of town department store, go about the place in the manner of one of those robotic vacumme cleaners, try on various 3/4 length moleskin coats before walking straight over to the other side or the store with a coat with the most awsome collar, making him look like Death's more reasonable henchman, to pick up a women's swimming costume all before becoming confused at the flexible barrier system for queue management on the way to the check out - without being followed by security and being laughed at by check-out staff?

Then I thought - what if I was a goth alt-singer songwriter of a marginally popular goth -alt band? You know, with a blog online and that?

In that case I probably had the department store opened special for my benefit, the security was likely for my own protection against potential mobbing fans and the girls at the tills were clearly groupies; hysterical at seeing me get closer, then further, then closer, then further, then closer again to them as I snaked through the start of the temporary barriers twice.

Well, this would make this shopping experiance totally different.

After this idea, I even selected the most giggly of the girls to make my payment.

Give her a thrill, I figured. She'll be talking to her work collegues and possibly her friends tomorrow about me.

Can't wait to go for a bank account review now.


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