Shiny, Happy Gothic alt-Country?

Friend of the band (real friend, non-existent band) Jaffne, has pointed out my sweet lyrics are a little down beat.

And, I suppose, given this is just a little hobby of mine in this virtual shed of a blog - they are a bit.

But then it is an gothic alt-country band that I am joking about being in, and this genre is not exactly known for it's glass half full sort of vibe. I mean look at the band name: Greville and the Tombstones: Well, it's hardly Fun Boy Three.

Apparently my suggestion of simply imagining some Euro disco beats to read the lyrics to, wasn't going to cut it.

Jaffne suggested I should look to incorporate some lovely, happy things in a song.

"Insane unicorns, rainbows, glitter!" Jaffne happily listed.

Jeezus! Insane unicorns! Now that is depressing.
A decrepit herd of unicorns with mental issues in a cramped paddock? One of them walking constantly in tight circles? Another, hobbled and lost of all sense of balance unable to stand from out its own filth? While another sits still, staring inward to dark places where hope cannot escape, horn blunted with a cork on the tip in case it self-harms?
Well, that has to be the worst idea for a child's petting zoo I have ever heard of.

Yeah, I could probably do a song about that no trouble. It would be pretty bleak though and I am not sure we are getting anywhere with that.

But... Unicorns losing their minds because of snorting glitter in order to surf rainbow waves?

Now this sounds just chipper.

Something is still missing. An element to the song to give it a light touch. Give it some sparkle. It is clear to me. I need to find me a woman for the band.

So it is fortunate I have a volunteer! But that is for another blog...

No One Hates Me More Than Me

I am not sure that this is the summer feel good hit I had been aiming for, when I started penning it, but it will be our summer single.

I call it - No One Hates Me More Than Me

Sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

You may see the things I do,

You may know the man I am

But you can’t despise me in all the ways I can

Yes, sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

When you’re in the doorway,

The flicker of flint lights up a smile,

I live with me forever, but you only stay for a while

Yes, sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

Disgust, betrayal – I let you down,

I see it’s all played out in your eye,

But mine sheds a bucketful for every tear you cry

Yes, sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

If I could start again, no regrets to carry,

If I could start again, all new,

We could both be happy, but I would sure miss you.

Sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

I know, right? Considering there is no band, or record - Wow.

You can't spell 'Format" without A, R or T

Lyrics posted for I Feel You In My Heart All Year... need highlighting to view.
Formatting fail or artistic depiction of my disconsolate gothic alt-country heart?

I Feel You In My Heart All Year

This is a song I have called: I Feel You In My Heart All Year

I feel you in my heart all year,

That is why I am writing this song in summer,

Truth is told

Remembering you so completely, is hard

And that is why I just can’t seem to get it right.

The eyes failed by memories old.

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

Your hair, island bleached coconut

Your skin, tastes of champagne, or so I heard,

Truth be told

Your smile flashes as a sunbeam

I was taken in wanting warmed by the flame

But you kept a distance and I was cold

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I was not offered your temptation,

There were times when I wish it had been so,

Truth is told.

On those days I doubt I did any good

My body’s cursed, mind damned and soul so quiet

They helped my deceit and lines I sold

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I planted codes in letters I wrote

Late on hard rain nights, I’d hope you’d crack,

Truth is told

Everything I did was for your affection

It was your game, a mess, where rules were broken

The stakes were raised, always intending to fold.

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I knew,

I knew it was for nothing,

All the same, I cherished every crumb thrown,

Truth is told

It was a simple fool’s belief in chance

A fairy tale you strung out wide like cotton weave

It was a trap, a net which you alone controlled

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I wonder if anyone comes through

Unscarred by the pretty wishes they cry for

Truth is told

For me there was another girl

She was there to love me and keep me true

And now it is her, not you, I hold

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I still always feel you in my heart,

That is why I am writing this song in summer,

Truth is told

Remembering you so utterly, is hard

And I just don’t want to ever get it right.

Eyes blinded by memories of gold.

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

- TRACK 5 -

You know what it's like. Lunchtime at the office and it is a slow online news day so you write an Americana song you will never perform for the album you are not making with a band only in your mind. I had intended this to be purely a time wasting device and a song that no one would ever hear.

Not just because it will never be recorded but because I wanted it to be an album "Filler".

That track which automatically is FForwarded or skipped. It's sole reason and purpose, to fill out the song numbers on the back of the CD case.

Occassionally, these tracks serve the added function of padding out the running time of an album. I call those tracks - "Underhand"

Album filler tracks are not ever designed to be listened to out of choice so usually contain throwaway lyrics (if at all - band instrumentals are the worst), more experimental sounds and a genaral feeling that we have entered into a mutual contract wherby the band won't play it at a gig so we don't need to listen to it enough times to work out which bits to move in unison to.

Almost all albums have these filler tracks. Usually they are Track no. 5. Except for Best of's... and Now! That's what's, naturally. Even some of the most popular albums ever produced have them. Oasis' (What's The Story) Morning Glory? Hey Now. Radiohead's OK Computer? FITTER HAPPIER. In fact, here is FITTER HAPPIER. Feel free to scroll passed it to the rest of the blog. It is exactly what Radiohead would want you to do.



So, under this light, I felt a 15 minute run at making up a song over a lunchtime apple and mango smoothie would be ideal conditions to create my own "filler" track.

So this is where we find ourselves. Of course, I am not certain if this then makes this here's entire bloggette essentially a filler and, if so, I am then even less certain how I should be feeling about it. After all, I hadn't planned on anyone wanting to hear the song all the way to the end, let alone once - but I do hope people enjoy reading my blogs to their conclusion.

It is mixed emotions, therefore, in posting this one.

If I was a HAL9000, I'd be shunting folks out evacuation hatches like there was no tomorrow right now. Anyway, here is my latest song for the album that does not exist.

-TRACK 5-

Every girl is a fairytale

But you’re hard to read

You wear hurt as gems of adornment

Eyes searching for shore on a sea of torment

Your flattery deceives

Oh – oh – oh

You have a cloak to hide a dagger

You hide a frown behind the laughter

You short out the Sun with your dark matter

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

The guilt and the pleasure

Without one the other cannot measure

Keep both as close as stolen treasure

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

The mirror on the wall

I don’t think it knows you at all

When it reflects on your beauty and grace

It’s blinded from your horror by your fair face

Your lips betray your words

Oh – oh – oh

From the tower let your hair down

From the cage lay the bone down

From the castle shoot the king down

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

The girl who burns the vowels out of my lore

You are the wolf who howls at my door

My darling fairytale wh**e

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

Every good band does a killer cover version

If I had a band - or just sang on my own - and I have and do neither of these things - then this would be the chosen cover version to perform to the delight of the audience / bar flies / people walking past in the street. The reasons should be fairly obvious. And that is not even mentioning the crowd reaction to this song in the film here.

Decision made - just like that.

It's great when you're in charge.

The Final Frontier

With all the recent talk of mars rovers and such like, it seems amiss I don't have a song about space or something for the album (#thereisnoalbum #thereisnoprogspacerockgoingonitiftherewas). Got keep up with the times to appear relevant to the youth. I decided to rectify this, promptly, with this song which I have called:
The Final Frontier

[some spaceship sound samples]

Momma with the space helmet, hey, are you ok?

There’s wires going in you and tubes going out you,

Leaking your essence away

The space screens’ glow, I’m worried they show,

Your vital signs are too low,

Without checking, I wonder if you know

Momma with the space helmet, hey, can you hear me?

You’re as cold as a space vacuum and lonely as an empty room,

Weak as low gravity

Oxygen dial at ninety-nine, through pressurised line

Just breathe, you’ll be fine

I wish seconds were longer in time

Momma with the space helmet, hey, can you switch boosters on?

You’re drifting away and I’m frightened to say,

Contact soon will be gone

A panel warning alarm, we cannot disarm,

Beeping out “you’re in harm”,

No panic, the experts are calm

Momma with the space helmet, hey, no more can be done

When you blasted off through and the sky was so blue,

I hope you had enough fun

They are powering down, you’re starting to drown

Still, in your hospital gown

Space helmet: a terrible crown

Momma with the space helmet, hey, it’ll be alright

I already miss your bright fire and I’d be worse than a liar

If I said I didn’t think of you that night.

Because I looked up to the sky, through telescope eye

I saw the stars and tried to count every one

I thought some might be satellites 

And I thought about you.

[inaudible radio transmissions from space stations]

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/spaceimages/

 

First review!

Actual review

"Ace new song from imaginary band"

 

 

 

 

(I have a crush on) A Gloom Pop Girl

In August, I met Laura Kidd - AKA She Makes War - who was in town performing at a couple of venues.

She Makes War describes her music as Dramatic Gloom Pop. Confusingly, Laura is not all that gloomy. Laura is rather effervescent and lovely.

Her music, too, is great.

She is also totally cool. We follow each other now on Twitter, you know.

Just at the end of August, I sat down and penned a song - for the album (#thereisnoalbum). Not sure where the inspiration for the lyrics came from, to be honest. It is funny how my songs seem to come from almost subliminal means. A half noticed drop of a leaf into an oil skimmed puddle maybe 3 days before, perhaps?

Anyway, it's called:
(I have a crush on) A Gloom Pop Girl.

All shade and hair in a twirl,

She plays songs of gentle doom.

The darkest star in the planetary constellation,

An electro-lightening complication,

I feel iron tide in blood as amps charge the room,

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins,

I like my clouds coloured grey.

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like the desolate turn of the day.

The melodies uncoil and unfurl,

Misery, all is lost to her voice,

Melancholic comfort of warmth in midwinter coat

Heartbreak found of old love’s note

The subtle indifference of Hobson’s choice

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins,

I like my clouds coloured grey.

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like the desolate turn of the day.

My emotions transfix in bleak whirl

Pasted in a Victorian scrap book

Curled corners of pictures, the failure of glue

Blurred image inks distill into blue

Unevenly spread where these hands shook

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins,

I like my clouds coloured grey.

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like the desolate turn of the day.

[Power chord moment]

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, Hey!

Hey!

Gas lit film flickers away!

It sparkles down on your skin!

Danger but not feeling peril,

A vile of poison bottled in crimson,

A rusting shield under skies of gloomy weather,

I see we can get through this together

Now I know others share imperfect vision

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins!

I like my graveyards overgrown,

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like my tombstones uneven and prone.

I mean, what's all that about, eh? A psychologists dream!

Your Thieving Hands

Having tweeted the LP sleeve, I felt I needed to at least do a couple of tuneless - in so much as they are pretend and have no tunes - songs.

This is the first song I wrote for the album. Like all good gothic alt-country songs, it was written late into the night, after an evening at the bar, on an old envelope.

Thank you, thank you. We are Greville and the Tombstones. Now, here is a song I wrote [oh yes – I should say at this point, I did an introductory dedication bit, as is customary to any country song] for a girl. Yeah, a girl. I don’t think she’ll ever know it’s for her. But it is. Not that she’ll care. Will You, Sara-Lou!
Anyway this is one I call – Your Thieving Hands.

You took my heart,

I did not give it,

You could’ve had part,

But that wasn’t your game.

You’ve got it caged,

Somewhere very secret,

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

You say it was,

Anyone’s for the takin’,

But if it’s truly yours,

Why can I feel it breakin’?

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

A crooked act,

Of your own doin’,

You smoked it out,

The night we drank.

I had sweeter plans

For my heart a-brewin’

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

And now I’m on,

Experimental medication,

My blood is circulated

By machine intervention

The electrics need cooled, by twelve fans

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

Sara-Lou you sonovabitch!

Coming up next...

In the next week or so, followers of Greville and the Tombstones are in for real treat. I am going to be posting some of the sweet lyrics of the songs already in the can for L.P. in quite rapid fire.

Some people earlier this month were asking: "Greville, how many tracks are going to be on the highly anticipated Greville and the Tombstones album: It took the body parts of 7 men to make him but only 1 woman to break his heart, made from 3 men's hearts?"

And I said to them: "Look. There is no highly anticipated album. Because there is no actual band. Why do people keep asking about this? I tweet about there being no actual band all the time! I can't play an instrument and I have never sang in public. Not even along to anything. However, in no way answering your question, I will ask you this: how many tracks are on the greatest album ever made - God Shuffled His Feet, by The Crash Test Dummies?"

And they replied: "12, including the untitled track."

And I said: "There you go."

They weren't sure if it was a parable and I was not convinced of the subtlety of the joke.

For followers of my main blog, the Lore, you may recognise some of the content and songs being blogged in the next week. Just think of it as the cassette flipping over to the A-side again.

Regards,
Greville.

There is no album. Here is the album cover.

A while ago I Twitter announced I would announce the new album title at the strike of noon.

I lost 2 followers.

Then on that strike of noon, I revealed:

It Took The Body Parts Of 7 Men To Make Him But Only 1 Woman To Break His Heart, Made From 3 Men's Hearts

I tweeted the LP cover:

After only 15 minutes of the album tweet, I lost another 2 followers.

This is an imaginary band with pretend songs

Welcome to the blog of Greville and the Tombstones, the gothic alt-country band which only plays in my head, but sometimes bits of it leaks out, hence the need for this sanity saving blog. Obviously.

Here you will find all band news, music stuff and art as well as lyrics to the songs without tunes. In no way are they poems.

To kick things off, with the help of my friend over at Craftiny I have been working on the band logo.

And here it is: the first piece of band art, the band logo!