The Fun Halloween Song

Remember when East 17 did a Christmas themed single? Remember - they had bells put on the mix? Remember - they dressed in snow jackets in a studio? Remember - they added computer snow FX to the film? Remember - TMF aired it as a "Christmas Anthem"? Remember?

It suddenly struck me that if I had a Gothic alt-band then it would not do a Christmas song. No chance.
Halloween however...

I would imagine the Halloween song would be slightly underwritten - populist (allowing the fans to sing along), basically a B-side elevated by virtue of making it vaguely connected to an annual festivity. We would add the sound of creaking doors to the mix after. It would probably be called something quite obvious to tie it in with the day.

It would probably go something like this -

The Fun Halloween Song
(sung by She Scoops Out Owls For Hats)

The October leaves hang sombre from chilled trees,

Walking in pallid green I am barely seen, in the graveyard at Halloween.

 

Among sounds of crows,

Under dark throws,

I lay at my lover’s side,

A single black rose.

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Sam De Vere lies here, died in the Lord’s immemorial year

As shadows do thicken Born 1807, soul released now to Heaven.

 

All my love I do save,

For this sallow grave,

Marked by the stone

These words are engraved

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Some might think it a bit creepy, somewhat a touch freaky

Huddled in a charred hue graveyard, lain beside dirt so stone hard.

 

To love my Sam De Vere,

who lies under here,

Who died in the winter

Of a previous lord’s year

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Abbey bell’s lurch and they clank, high in the bell tower dank

It disturbs the birds flying out their roost yet still remain I seduced

 

At Sam De Vere’s grave side,

I will always abide,

Who else could want

This everlasting bride?

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Mist shroud vapours swirl and cling, to all deadened things

And if a mad doctor was to revive my love alive, back from the year 1835?

 

Would they be flesh or bone?

Sins still to atone?

Eyes to look upon

This weathered tombstone?

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Demons jig on saws fiddle, branches bend in the middle

Witches cast toadstools in hollow pools, but I know them all to be fools

 

Love’s spell is so strong,

It cannot be wrong

Over death and time

Sam to you I belong

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Do not weigh with concern or worry, I am in no such hurry

I am at peace being here, this scene is much happier than it may appear

 

The sun will make itself shown

And daisies will be grown

All in the graveyard

Of my darling’s tombstone

I would also imagine the video would be me and the Tombstones wearing 3/4 length tweed jackets for protection from the dark autumn air. Computer FX falling leaves would be added later.

The Unicorn Song

In response to some reviewers suggesting the lyrics on this blog were a little sad and dark I asked what could inspire a happier song?

Unicorns, glitter and rainbows!
Girls singing along!
Joy!

With a new girl band member and unicorns gambling through my thoughts I set right to work. It wasn't easy and it has been the longest I have ever worked on a sweet, sweet set of lyrics.

I needed to enter a world of cherry lips and cheery gripped vibes.

I titled it the Unicorn Song, giving no doubt this was my cookie song for the album. What could be happier? Nothing. Well, maybe if I wrote it while doing cute bunny-hops but that would be difficult. And awkward to explain to the rest of the guys in the office.

And I have had positve pre-reviews:
"This isn't happy at all. Is this about torture?"
"Where does this come from?"
"I like the word 'rainbows'"

See? Mainly positive.

So here it is, a - basically - lovely romance song:


The Unicorn Song
(She Scoops Out Owls For Hats sings non-italics)

I said "Don’t say a word, honey" and I meant it,

We both understood when I asked for my cigarette lit

We were never going back into the bar, obvious I admit

I was taken by you, you’re just my type

I knew you wanted me, but I wanted you more,

You showed surprise when I locked the bedroom door,

I said "Don’t say a word, honey, don’t let me find out you’re a bore"

The night has just got started for us

I tore down the curtains, for gags and ties

The window was naked I cared nothing for prying eyes

The darkness only hints and highlights under purple skies

Hot red lines thicken and pulse

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave

After all, Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Standing over you I salivate at my need,

I take a pin, a vial and stethoscope I want to hear you bleed

"Don’t say a word, honey, break the spell or interrupt my feed"

Yeah, just my type to make me quicken

You were oh so positive, held by my charms

But I knew your heart would be negative once in my arms

"Now Don’t say a word, honey, no point in raising alarms"

Just let me drain away all the worry

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave After all,

Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

I never said I was a saint I got high on lead based paint

I never said I was an angel and I’ve never had a complaint

I got fangs, spiral eyes, nails sharp as barbs and no self-restraint

Especially when it comes to you boy

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

Little Miss Vampire, is only interested in herself to save

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

The leather unicorn mask, it’s time to put on

Your terrors are which I am most compellingly drawn

I hear unicorns inhale glitter when they are most forlorn

Your fear sparkles all over my mind

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave

After all, Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Little Miss Vampire, is only interested in herself to save

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave

After all, Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Little Miss Vampire, is only interested in herself to save

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Also, first 5 CD single copies come with a limited edition sexy and romantic unicorn kinky gimp mask.

I don't even know her

Of course, there will be no singles for sale at all. None. This is not a Band, this is fiction, so we don't record anything. In many ways we are the perfect goth-alt band.

Greville and the Tombstones, we rock baby! Although, of course, we absolutely don't.

Unicorn Song - single sleeve art

Here is the sleeve for the latest CD single:
The Unicorn Song    (B-side, Why does nothing last cool?)

There is no single to go in it, but - still!

No, we are not "one of those air bands"! We're a complete figment of the mind! Apart from the girl now.

When we left it last, I was involved in a tug of bands with actual proper band, Einstein’s Wardrobe, over a new, real, band member. They had a number of advantages: They, crucially, are a non-imaginary band and I had to wait until a new moon for a naming ceremony to be conducted by a Native American chief.

A grand Battle of the Bands at the local US high school appeared the only solution.

But then another way was found. Apparently committing to a fictitious band isn’t much of a commitment. Being in my band and gigging with Einstein’s Wardrobe is entirely feasible.

So I am delighted to reveal my good friend has decided to lend her sweet voice equally in actuality and un-actuality by joining both bands!

With regards to Greville and the Tombstones, my friend gets:

• Tombstone name
• Band member badge - just as soon as they arrive, they are totally coming, seriously
• Is able to talk about “being in the band” and all the kudos and cool this obviously brings

In return, I get:

• To imagine her whenever I want as part of Greville and the Tombstones, either singing or tambourining or just chilling in the independent coffee house of my brain

Which, when written down bullet pointed like this, makes my side of the bargain seem a little creepier than I necessarily meant it to be.

Anyway...
So with this agreed the naming ceremony could be taken. On the 15th of this month of October, it was.

“You enter this tee-pee @Gillybiscuits, but whatever the chief says next when he sees you behind the tortured flames will be your Tombstone name when doing band things…”

Say what you see Chief man...

 
Hmmm. If only I could make this announcement with any more of a building grandiose flourish.



And so with this, Greville and the Tombstones welcomes and introduces now, for this first time, to the fans:

She Scoops Out Owls For Hats

 
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AND! In a bit of added news for Gothic alt-fans! She Scoops Out Owls For Hats will be singing in my mind and yours on the upcoming non-single, The Unicorn Song!

Battle of the Bands

There is no doubt this song I am writing about the unicorns off their uni-horns from injecting street grade glitter is going to need the lightness of touch a female vocalist brings to all alpha bands. Even imaginary ones, like mine.

R.E.M. mumbled through jangly songs of moody introversion of the southern outsider then they introduced Kate Peirson and wrote this bit of ludicrocity:




This is the exactly the effect I am after.

Danish band, Aqua was a heavy EMO band who wore knitted jumpers with a shuffling stage presence who would never look up from the stage and were famed for their "manatee" wall of sound, then Lene Nystrom asked if she could join:





That's... well clearly that is too far an effect. Much too far.

But the point stands.

And, as I have written in an earlier blog, there is a girl who wants to be in my band. The girl is a great friend of the band already - before you start thinking anything - I can confirm yes, she is very real.

This is all terrific news.

However the path of an gothic alt band never is laid straight on tarmac. There is trouble in the cogs.

Another band is only attempting to woo her before she can become a Tombstone through the initiation ceremony at the next new moon after which I can officially announce her to our fans!

And New Moon phases are extremely precise. We'll need to synchronise filo-faxes with me, her, the Native American Chief - it could take a few weeks. A huge window of time for other band wooing to occur on a generous level.

Here they are now:



It is clear what needs to happen: We need a Battle of the Bands! Lay down a little marker in the ol' treble clef turf.

They are called Einstein's Wardrobe.
My Band is Called Greville and the Tombstones.
1-0 Greville and the Tombstones.

They play a bit alt-country.
My band plays Gothic alt-country.
2-0 Greville and the Tombstones.

They are an actual real-life band, with instruments, tunes and good vocals and an audience who can go and listen to them play gigs they have bookings for.
My band... er... well... look! Behind you! There is something totally behind you, man!
OK, let's just call it a close 2-1 win for Greville and the Tombstones.

Ultimately does Einstein's Wardrobe give out special Tombstone badges to their band members? Yes, I know, I am hoping a badge will sway this girl's head away from actually singing and performing towards to basically watch me type on a computer in my utility room.

And... at the minute there are no band badges.

This could get tricky.

Musicantresses Pt. 1

I refer to this little blog site as my hobby-blogster band shed at the end of the internet path from my main home blog. It's a long reference, but what can you do? And this entry is pure shed. The equivelent of putting posters up on it's wooden insides.

As I work on a more lighthearted song possibly referencing mentally ill unicorns, I thought I could look at some of the female musicans who I enjoy listening to. There is something about a girl who can play and knows her music which is both fabulous and effortlessly cool.

Louise from Sleeper. Lord knows I thought she was ace. She had eyes like citric pools and when I listen to Nice Guy Eddie even now, when Louise sings "Parma-shan" I get this weird tingle at the bottom of my spine.

Anyway, here is Sleeper on TOPTP... TPTOTS... whatever it wanted to be called in the 90's. You might want to sit down in case you find Hale and Pace too funny at the beginning. And at the end.





Aimee Mann is great. My heart has always lain a little with Americana and she was the first female artist I connected with through it.





Diane Birch was someone I heard on the local radio and her voice is awesome. As is this video for one of her more up tempo songs:





I also enjoy a little country (winky smiley face emoticon) and Miranda Lambert does contemporary country pretty well:





As does the terrific Mindy Smtih:





Amy LaVere is more tradtional. I saw her live and she was really good. And plays a double bass.





Talking of bass players, the bass player for Beth Walthew is a friend of mine. This counts in the list 'cause Beth is a girl.





Of course, this summer I met the incomparable and outright coolest person I have ever had a piece of shortbread in the shape of an elephant with. She Makes War's live perfomances are mesmeric.




And that concludes the pinning up of some posters on my virtual shed.