Battle of the Bands

There is no doubt this song I am writing about the unicorns off their uni-horns from injecting street grade glitter is going to need the lightness of touch a female vocalist brings to all alpha bands. Even imaginary ones, like mine.

R.E.M. mumbled through jangly songs of moody introversion of the southern outsider then they introduced Kate Peirson and wrote this bit of ludicrocity:




This is the exactly the effect I am after.

Danish band, Aqua was a heavy EMO band who wore knitted jumpers with a shuffling stage presence who would never look up from the stage and were famed for their "manatee" wall of sound, then Lene Nystrom asked if she could join:





That's... well clearly that is too far an effect. Much too far.

But the point stands.

And, as I have written in an earlier blog, there is a girl who wants to be in my band. The girl is a great friend of the band already - before you start thinking anything - I can confirm yes, she is very real.

This is all terrific news.

However the path of an gothic alt band never is laid straight on tarmac. There is trouble in the cogs.

Another band is only attempting to woo her before she can become a Tombstone through the initiation ceremony at the next new moon after which I can officially announce her to our fans!

And New Moon phases are extremely precise. We'll need to synchronise filo-faxes with me, her, the Native American Chief - it could take a few weeks. A huge window of time for other band wooing to occur on a generous level.

Here they are now:



It is clear what needs to happen: We need a Battle of the Bands! Lay down a little marker in the ol' treble clef turf.

They are called Einstein's Wardrobe.
My Band is Called Greville and the Tombstones.
1-0 Greville and the Tombstones.

They play a bit alt-country.
My band plays Gothic alt-country.
2-0 Greville and the Tombstones.

They are an actual real-life band, with instruments, tunes and good vocals and an audience who can go and listen to them play gigs they have bookings for.
My band... er... well... look! Behind you! There is something totally behind you, man!
OK, let's just call it a close 2-1 win for Greville and the Tombstones.

Ultimately does Einstein's Wardrobe give out special Tombstone badges to their band members? Yes, I know, I am hoping a badge will sway this girl's head away from actually singing and performing towards to basically watch me type on a computer in my utility room.

And... at the minute there are no band badges.

This could get tricky.