We all want to be mediocre local rock stars

I was out running a shopping errand this week. As a reward to myself, I decided to look at getting something for myself too while shopping.

Walking with purpose into the department store near closing time, my shopping was marked with a security guard following me and then the girls at the tills giggling at me.

What sort of society do we live in where late at night a man can't walk into a deserted out of town department store, go about the place in the manner of one of those robotic vacumme cleaners, try on various 3/4 length moleskin coats before walking straight over to the other side or the store with a coat with the most awsome collar, making him look like Death's more reasonable henchman, to pick up a women's swimming costume all before becoming confused at the flexible barrier system for queue management on the way to the check out - without being followed by security and being laughed at by check-out staff?

Then I thought - what if I was a goth alt-singer songwriter of a marginally popular goth -alt band? You know, with a blog online and that?

In that case I probably had the department store opened special for my benefit, the security was likely for my own protection against potential mobbing fans and the girls at the tills were clearly groupies; hysterical at seeing me get closer, then further, then closer, then further, then closer again to them as I snaked through the start of the temporary barriers twice.

Well, this would make this shopping experiance totally different.

After this idea, I even selected the most giggly of the girls to make my payment.

Give her a thrill, I figured. She'll be talking to her work collegues and possibly her friends tomorrow about me.

Can't wait to go for a bank account review now.

Influences to the music Pt. 1

This is just a blog revealing some of my early musical influences.

Back in the day, my family home only had one CD player. In the living room. This meant much of my earlier musical influences was background muzac. Here are some of my favourites. Old Skool!









But this remains my all time favourite song, Jeezus but it still makes cry after a French martini:



If ever I filmed a music video I would burn an Austin Allegro with finger lightening in it too!

It wasn't until I got a PC in my room with a CD drive that I was able to expand my musical taste. I saw the album in the Virgin Mega-Store. Under C. At £15.99 it was expensive, but the cover, the weight of the jewel case just told me I would never be disappointed to own it.

It only turned out to be the best album ever made.

And. It. Blew. My. Mind.





The rest, as they say, is history. And they are right. But my musical history will continue in another blog soon.

Regards,
Greville.

The Fun Halloween Song

Remember when East 17 did a Christmas themed single? Remember - they had bells put on the mix? Remember - they dressed in snow jackets in a studio? Remember - they added computer snow FX to the film? Remember - TMF aired it as a "Christmas Anthem"? Remember?

It suddenly struck me that if I had a Gothic alt-band then it would not do a Christmas song. No chance.
Halloween however...

I would imagine the Halloween song would be slightly underwritten - populist (allowing the fans to sing along), basically a B-side elevated by virtue of making it vaguely connected to an annual festivity. We would add the sound of creaking doors to the mix after. It would probably be called something quite obvious to tie it in with the day.

It would probably go something like this -

The Fun Halloween Song
(sung by She Scoops Out Owls For Hats)

The October leaves hang sombre from chilled trees,

Walking in pallid green I am barely seen, in the graveyard at Halloween.

 

Among sounds of crows,

Under dark throws,

I lay at my lover’s side,

A single black rose.

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Sam De Vere lies here, died in the Lord’s immemorial year

As shadows do thicken Born 1807, soul released now to Heaven.

 

All my love I do save,

For this sallow grave,

Marked by the stone

These words are engraved

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Some might think it a bit creepy, somewhat a touch freaky

Huddled in a charred hue graveyard, lain beside dirt so stone hard.

 

To love my Sam De Vere,

who lies under here,

Who died in the winter

Of a previous lord’s year

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Abbey bell’s lurch and they clank, high in the bell tower dank

It disturbs the birds flying out their roost yet still remain I seduced

 

At Sam De Vere’s grave side,

I will always abide,

Who else could want

This everlasting bride?

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Mist shroud vapours swirl and cling, to all deadened things

And if a mad doctor was to revive my love alive, back from the year 1835?

 

Would they be flesh or bone?

Sins still to atone?

Eyes to look upon

This weathered tombstone?

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Demons jig on saws fiddle, branches bend in the middle

Witches cast toadstools in hollow pools, but I know them all to be fools

 

Love’s spell is so strong,

It cannot be wrong

Over death and time

Sam to you I belong

 

When you think me all lonesome, I am not on my own some, I’m in the arms of my darling’s tombstone

 

Do not weigh with concern or worry, I am in no such hurry

I am at peace being here, this scene is much happier than it may appear

 

The sun will make itself shown

And daisies will be grown

All in the graveyard

Of my darling’s tombstone

I would also imagine the video would be me and the Tombstones wearing 3/4 length tweed jackets for protection from the dark autumn air. Computer FX falling leaves would be added later.

The Unicorn Song

In response to some reviewers suggesting the lyrics on this blog were a little sad and dark I asked what could inspire a happier song?

Unicorns, glitter and rainbows!
Girls singing along!
Joy!

With a new girl band member and unicorns gambling through my thoughts I set right to work. It wasn't easy and it has been the longest I have ever worked on a sweet, sweet set of lyrics.

I needed to enter a world of cherry lips and cheery gripped vibes.

I titled it the Unicorn Song, giving no doubt this was my cookie song for the album. What could be happier? Nothing. Well, maybe if I wrote it while doing cute bunny-hops but that would be difficult. And awkward to explain to the rest of the guys in the office.

And I have had positve pre-reviews:
"This isn't happy at all. Is this about torture?"
"Where does this come from?"
"I like the word 'rainbows'"

See? Mainly positive.

So here it is, a - basically - lovely romance song:


The Unicorn Song
(She Scoops Out Owls For Hats sings non-italics)

I said "Don’t say a word, honey" and I meant it,

We both understood when I asked for my cigarette lit

We were never going back into the bar, obvious I admit

I was taken by you, you’re just my type

I knew you wanted me, but I wanted you more,

You showed surprise when I locked the bedroom door,

I said "Don’t say a word, honey, don’t let me find out you’re a bore"

The night has just got started for us

I tore down the curtains, for gags and ties

The window was naked I cared nothing for prying eyes

The darkness only hints and highlights under purple skies

Hot red lines thicken and pulse

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave

After all, Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Standing over you I salivate at my need,

I take a pin, a vial and stethoscope I want to hear you bleed

"Don’t say a word, honey, break the spell or interrupt my feed"

Yeah, just my type to make me quicken

You were oh so positive, held by my charms

But I knew your heart would be negative once in my arms

"Now Don’t say a word, honey, no point in raising alarms"

Just let me drain away all the worry

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave After all,

Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

I never said I was a saint I got high on lead based paint

I never said I was an angel and I’ve never had a complaint

I got fangs, spiral eyes, nails sharp as barbs and no self-restraint

Especially when it comes to you boy

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

Little Miss Vampire, is only interested in herself to save

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

The leather unicorn mask, it’s time to put on

Your terrors are which I am most compellingly drawn

I hear unicorns inhale glitter when they are most forlorn

Your fear sparkles all over my mind

She is older than she looks and she looks good for her age

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave

After all, Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Little Miss Vampire, is only interested in herself to save

It’s only instinct to go after the thing which we crave

After all, Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Little Miss Vampire, is only interested in herself to save

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

All the crazy Unicorns inhale glitter to surf the rainbow wave

Also, first 5 CD single copies come with a limited edition sexy and romantic unicorn kinky gimp mask.

I don't even know her

Of course, there will be no singles for sale at all. None. This is not a Band, this is fiction, so we don't record anything. In many ways we are the perfect goth-alt band.

Greville and the Tombstones, we rock baby! Although, of course, we absolutely don't.

Unicorn Song - single sleeve art

Here is the sleeve for the latest CD single:
The Unicorn Song    (B-side, Why does nothing last cool?)

There is no single to go in it, but - still!

No, we are not "one of those air bands"! We're a complete figment of the mind! Apart from the girl now.

When we left it last, I was involved in a tug of bands with actual proper band, Einstein’s Wardrobe, over a new, real, band member. They had a number of advantages: They, crucially, are a non-imaginary band and I had to wait until a new moon for a naming ceremony to be conducted by a Native American chief.

A grand Battle of the Bands at the local US high school appeared the only solution.

But then another way was found. Apparently committing to a fictitious band isn’t much of a commitment. Being in my band and gigging with Einstein’s Wardrobe is entirely feasible.

So I am delighted to reveal my good friend has decided to lend her sweet voice equally in actuality and un-actuality by joining both bands!

With regards to Greville and the Tombstones, my friend gets:

• Tombstone name
• Band member badge - just as soon as they arrive, they are totally coming, seriously
• Is able to talk about “being in the band” and all the kudos and cool this obviously brings

In return, I get:

• To imagine her whenever I want as part of Greville and the Tombstones, either singing or tambourining or just chilling in the independent coffee house of my brain

Which, when written down bullet pointed like this, makes my side of the bargain seem a little creepier than I necessarily meant it to be.

Anyway...
So with this agreed the naming ceremony could be taken. On the 15th of this month of October, it was.

“You enter this tee-pee @Gillybiscuits, but whatever the chief says next when he sees you behind the tortured flames will be your Tombstone name when doing band things…”

Say what you see Chief man...

 
Hmmm. If only I could make this announcement with any more of a building grandiose flourish.



And so with this, Greville and the Tombstones welcomes and introduces now, for this first time, to the fans:

She Scoops Out Owls For Hats

 
-------------------------------------------------------------------

AND! In a bit of added news for Gothic alt-fans! She Scoops Out Owls For Hats will be singing in my mind and yours on the upcoming non-single, The Unicorn Song!

Battle of the Bands

There is no doubt this song I am writing about the unicorns off their uni-horns from injecting street grade glitter is going to need the lightness of touch a female vocalist brings to all alpha bands. Even imaginary ones, like mine.

R.E.M. mumbled through jangly songs of moody introversion of the southern outsider then they introduced Kate Peirson and wrote this bit of ludicrocity:




This is the exactly the effect I am after.

Danish band, Aqua was a heavy EMO band who wore knitted jumpers with a shuffling stage presence who would never look up from the stage and were famed for their "manatee" wall of sound, then Lene Nystrom asked if she could join:





That's... well clearly that is too far an effect. Much too far.

But the point stands.

And, as I have written in an earlier blog, there is a girl who wants to be in my band. The girl is a great friend of the band already - before you start thinking anything - I can confirm yes, she is very real.

This is all terrific news.

However the path of an gothic alt band never is laid straight on tarmac. There is trouble in the cogs.

Another band is only attempting to woo her before she can become a Tombstone through the initiation ceremony at the next new moon after which I can officially announce her to our fans!

And New Moon phases are extremely precise. We'll need to synchronise filo-faxes with me, her, the Native American Chief - it could take a few weeks. A huge window of time for other band wooing to occur on a generous level.

Here they are now:



It is clear what needs to happen: We need a Battle of the Bands! Lay down a little marker in the ol' treble clef turf.

They are called Einstein's Wardrobe.
My Band is Called Greville and the Tombstones.
1-0 Greville and the Tombstones.

They play a bit alt-country.
My band plays Gothic alt-country.
2-0 Greville and the Tombstones.

They are an actual real-life band, with instruments, tunes and good vocals and an audience who can go and listen to them play gigs they have bookings for.
My band... er... well... look! Behind you! There is something totally behind you, man!
OK, let's just call it a close 2-1 win for Greville and the Tombstones.

Ultimately does Einstein's Wardrobe give out special Tombstone badges to their band members? Yes, I know, I am hoping a badge will sway this girl's head away from actually singing and performing towards to basically watch me type on a computer in my utility room.

And... at the minute there are no band badges.

This could get tricky.

Musicantresses Pt. 1

I refer to this little blog site as my hobby-blogster band shed at the end of the internet path from my main home blog. It's a long reference, but what can you do? And this entry is pure shed. The equivelent of putting posters up on it's wooden insides.

As I work on a more lighthearted song possibly referencing mentally ill unicorns, I thought I could look at some of the female musicans who I enjoy listening to. There is something about a girl who can play and knows her music which is both fabulous and effortlessly cool.

Louise from Sleeper. Lord knows I thought she was ace. She had eyes like citric pools and when I listen to Nice Guy Eddie even now, when Louise sings "Parma-shan" I get this weird tingle at the bottom of my spine.

Anyway, here is Sleeper on TOPTP... TPTOTS... whatever it wanted to be called in the 90's. You might want to sit down in case you find Hale and Pace too funny at the beginning. And at the end.





Aimee Mann is great. My heart has always lain a little with Americana and she was the first female artist I connected with through it.





Diane Birch was someone I heard on the local radio and her voice is awesome. As is this video for one of her more up tempo songs:





I also enjoy a little country (winky smiley face emoticon) and Miranda Lambert does contemporary country pretty well:





As does the terrific Mindy Smtih:





Amy LaVere is more tradtional. I saw her live and she was really good. And plays a double bass.





Talking of bass players, the bass player for Beth Walthew is a friend of mine. This counts in the list 'cause Beth is a girl.





Of course, this summer I met the incomparable and outright coolest person I have ever had a piece of shortbread in the shape of an elephant with. She Makes War's live perfomances are mesmeric.




And that concludes the pinning up of some posters on my virtual shed.

Shiny, Happy Gothic alt-Country?

Friend of the band (real friend, non-existent band) Jaffne, has pointed out my sweet lyrics are a little down beat.

And, I suppose, given this is just a little hobby of mine in this virtual shed of a blog - they are a bit.

But then it is an gothic alt-country band that I am joking about being in, and this genre is not exactly known for it's glass half full sort of vibe. I mean look at the band name: Greville and the Tombstones: Well, it's hardly Fun Boy Three.

Apparently my suggestion of simply imagining some Euro disco beats to read the lyrics to, wasn't going to cut it.

Jaffne suggested I should look to incorporate some lovely, happy things in a song.

"Insane unicorns, rainbows, glitter!" Jaffne happily listed.

Jeezus! Insane unicorns! Now that is depressing.
A decrepit herd of unicorns with mental issues in a cramped paddock? One of them walking constantly in tight circles? Another, hobbled and lost of all sense of balance unable to stand from out its own filth? While another sits still, staring inward to dark places where hope cannot escape, horn blunted with a cork on the tip in case it self-harms?
Well, that has to be the worst idea for a child's petting zoo I have ever heard of.

Yeah, I could probably do a song about that no trouble. It would be pretty bleak though and I am not sure we are getting anywhere with that.

But... Unicorns losing their minds because of snorting glitter in order to surf rainbow waves?

Now this sounds just chipper.

Something is still missing. An element to the song to give it a light touch. Give it some sparkle. It is clear to me. I need to find me a woman for the band.

So it is fortunate I have a volunteer! But that is for another blog...

No One Hates Me More Than Me

I am not sure that this is the summer feel good hit I had been aiming for, when I started penning it, but it will be our summer single.

I call it - No One Hates Me More Than Me

Sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

You may see the things I do,

You may know the man I am

But you can’t despise me in all the ways I can

Yes, sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

When you’re in the doorway,

The flicker of flint lights up a smile,

I live with me forever, but you only stay for a while

Yes, sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

Disgust, betrayal – I let you down,

I see it’s all played out in your eye,

But mine sheds a bucketful for every tear you cry

Yes, sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

If I could start again, no regrets to carry,

If I could start again, all new,

We could both be happy, but I would sure miss you.

Sometimes it’s comforting to know,

That no one hates me more than me.

I know, right? Considering there is no band, or record - Wow.

You can't spell 'Format" without A, R or T

Lyrics posted for I Feel You In My Heart All Year... need highlighting to view.
Formatting fail or artistic depiction of my disconsolate gothic alt-country heart?

I Feel You In My Heart All Year

This is a song I have called: I Feel You In My Heart All Year

I feel you in my heart all year,

That is why I am writing this song in summer,

Truth is told

Remembering you so completely, is hard

And that is why I just can’t seem to get it right.

The eyes failed by memories old.

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

Your hair, island bleached coconut

Your skin, tastes of champagne, or so I heard,

Truth be told

Your smile flashes as a sunbeam

I was taken in wanting warmed by the flame

But you kept a distance and I was cold

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I was not offered your temptation,

There were times when I wish it had been so,

Truth is told.

On those days I doubt I did any good

My body’s cursed, mind damned and soul so quiet

They helped my deceit and lines I sold

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I planted codes in letters I wrote

Late on hard rain nights, I’d hope you’d crack,

Truth is told

Everything I did was for your affection

It was your game, a mess, where rules were broken

The stakes were raised, always intending to fold.

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I knew,

I knew it was for nothing,

All the same, I cherished every crumb thrown,

Truth is told

It was a simple fool’s belief in chance

A fairy tale you strung out wide like cotton weave

It was a trap, a net which you alone controlled

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I wonder if anyone comes through

Unscarred by the pretty wishes they cry for

Truth is told

For me there was another girl

She was there to love me and keep me true

And now it is her, not you, I hold

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

I still always feel you in my heart,

That is why I am writing this song in summer,

Truth is told

Remembering you so utterly, is hard

And I just don’t want to ever get it right.

Eyes blinded by memories of gold.

I went to the moon, just to impress you,

But don’t you see, I only returned for her.

- TRACK 5 -

You know what it's like. Lunchtime at the office and it is a slow online news day so you write an Americana song you will never perform for the album you are not making with a band only in your mind. I had intended this to be purely a time wasting device and a song that no one would ever hear.

Not just because it will never be recorded but because I wanted it to be an album "Filler".

That track which automatically is FForwarded or skipped. It's sole reason and purpose, to fill out the song numbers on the back of the CD case.

Occassionally, these tracks serve the added function of padding out the running time of an album. I call those tracks - "Underhand"

Album filler tracks are not ever designed to be listened to out of choice so usually contain throwaway lyrics (if at all - band instrumentals are the worst), more experimental sounds and a genaral feeling that we have entered into a mutual contract wherby the band won't play it at a gig so we don't need to listen to it enough times to work out which bits to move in unison to.

Almost all albums have these filler tracks. Usually they are Track no. 5. Except for Best of's... and Now! That's what's, naturally. Even some of the most popular albums ever produced have them. Oasis' (What's The Story) Morning Glory? Hey Now. Radiohead's OK Computer? FITTER HAPPIER. In fact, here is FITTER HAPPIER. Feel free to scroll passed it to the rest of the blog. It is exactly what Radiohead would want you to do.



So, under this light, I felt a 15 minute run at making up a song over a lunchtime apple and mango smoothie would be ideal conditions to create my own "filler" track.

So this is where we find ourselves. Of course, I am not certain if this then makes this here's entire bloggette essentially a filler and, if so, I am then even less certain how I should be feeling about it. After all, I hadn't planned on anyone wanting to hear the song all the way to the end, let alone once - but I do hope people enjoy reading my blogs to their conclusion.

It is mixed emotions, therefore, in posting this one.

If I was a HAL9000, I'd be shunting folks out evacuation hatches like there was no tomorrow right now. Anyway, here is my latest song for the album that does not exist.

-TRACK 5-

Every girl is a fairytale

But you’re hard to read

You wear hurt as gems of adornment

Eyes searching for shore on a sea of torment

Your flattery deceives

Oh – oh – oh

You have a cloak to hide a dagger

You hide a frown behind the laughter

You short out the Sun with your dark matter

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

The guilt and the pleasure

Without one the other cannot measure

Keep both as close as stolen treasure

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

The mirror on the wall

I don’t think it knows you at all

When it reflects on your beauty and grace

It’s blinded from your horror by your fair face

Your lips betray your words

Oh – oh – oh

From the tower let your hair down

From the cage lay the bone down

From the castle shoot the king down

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

The girl who burns the vowels out of my lore

You are the wolf who howls at my door

My darling fairytale wh**e

Oh – oh – oh

Eat the apple, Snow White

You will be alright

I want to be the one who kisses you awake

Every good band does a killer cover version

If I had a band - or just sang on my own - and I have and do neither of these things - then this would be the chosen cover version to perform to the delight of the audience / bar flies / people walking past in the street. The reasons should be fairly obvious. And that is not even mentioning the crowd reaction to this song in the film here.

Decision made - just like that.

It's great when you're in charge.

The Final Frontier

With all the recent talk of mars rovers and such like, it seems amiss I don't have a song about space or something for the album (#thereisnoalbum #thereisnoprogspacerockgoingonitiftherewas). Got keep up with the times to appear relevant to the youth. I decided to rectify this, promptly, with this song which I have called:
The Final Frontier

[some spaceship sound samples]

Momma with the space helmet, hey, are you ok?

There’s wires going in you and tubes going out you,

Leaking your essence away

The space screens’ glow, I’m worried they show,

Your vital signs are too low,

Without checking, I wonder if you know

Momma with the space helmet, hey, can you hear me?

You’re as cold as a space vacuum and lonely as an empty room,

Weak as low gravity

Oxygen dial at ninety-nine, through pressurised line

Just breathe, you’ll be fine

I wish seconds were longer in time

Momma with the space helmet, hey, can you switch boosters on?

You’re drifting away and I’m frightened to say,

Contact soon will be gone

A panel warning alarm, we cannot disarm,

Beeping out “you’re in harm”,

No panic, the experts are calm

Momma with the space helmet, hey, no more can be done

When you blasted off through and the sky was so blue,

I hope you had enough fun

They are powering down, you’re starting to drown

Still, in your hospital gown

Space helmet: a terrible crown

Momma with the space helmet, hey, it’ll be alright

I already miss your bright fire and I’d be worse than a liar

If I said I didn’t think of you that night.

Because I looked up to the sky, through telescope eye

I saw the stars and tried to count every one

I thought some might be satellites 

And I thought about you.

[inaudible radio transmissions from space stations]

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/spaceimages/

 

First review!

Actual review

"Ace new song from imaginary band"

 

 

 

 

(I have a crush on) A Gloom Pop Girl

In August, I met Laura Kidd - AKA She Makes War - who was in town performing at a couple of venues.

She Makes War describes her music as Dramatic Gloom Pop. Confusingly, Laura is not all that gloomy. Laura is rather effervescent and lovely.

Her music, too, is great.

She is also totally cool. We follow each other now on Twitter, you know.

Just at the end of August, I sat down and penned a song - for the album (#thereisnoalbum). Not sure where the inspiration for the lyrics came from, to be honest. It is funny how my songs seem to come from almost subliminal means. A half noticed drop of a leaf into an oil skimmed puddle maybe 3 days before, perhaps?

Anyway, it's called:
(I have a crush on) A Gloom Pop Girl.

All shade and hair in a twirl,

She plays songs of gentle doom.

The darkest star in the planetary constellation,

An electro-lightening complication,

I feel iron tide in blood as amps charge the room,

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins,

I like my clouds coloured grey.

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like the desolate turn of the day.

The melodies uncoil and unfurl,

Misery, all is lost to her voice,

Melancholic comfort of warmth in midwinter coat

Heartbreak found of old love’s note

The subtle indifference of Hobson’s choice

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins,

I like my clouds coloured grey.

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like the desolate turn of the day.

My emotions transfix in bleak whirl

Pasted in a Victorian scrap book

Curled corners of pictures, the failure of glue

Blurred image inks distill into blue

Unevenly spread where these hands shook

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins,

I like my clouds coloured grey.

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like the desolate turn of the day.

[Power chord moment]

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, Hey!

Hey!

Gas lit film flickers away!

It sparkles down on your skin!

Danger but not feeling peril,

A vile of poison bottled in crimson,

A rusting shield under skies of gloomy weather,

I see we can get through this together

Now I know others share imperfect vision

I have a crush on a gloom pop girl.

Because I like my castles in ruins!

I like my graveyards overgrown,

I like my birds to be ravens

And I like my tombstones uneven and prone.

I mean, what's all that about, eh? A psychologists dream!

Your Thieving Hands

Having tweeted the LP sleeve, I felt I needed to at least do a couple of tuneless - in so much as they are pretend and have no tunes - songs.

This is the first song I wrote for the album. Like all good gothic alt-country songs, it was written late into the night, after an evening at the bar, on an old envelope.

Thank you, thank you. We are Greville and the Tombstones. Now, here is a song I wrote [oh yes – I should say at this point, I did an introductory dedication bit, as is customary to any country song] for a girl. Yeah, a girl. I don’t think she’ll ever know it’s for her. But it is. Not that she’ll care. Will You, Sara-Lou!
Anyway this is one I call – Your Thieving Hands.

You took my heart,

I did not give it,

You could’ve had part,

But that wasn’t your game.

You’ve got it caged,

Somewhere very secret,

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

You say it was,

Anyone’s for the takin’,

But if it’s truly yours,

Why can I feel it breakin’?

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

A crooked act,

Of your own doin’,

You smoked it out,

The night we drank.

I had sweeter plans

For my heart a-brewin’

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

And now I’m on,

Experimental medication,

My blood is circulated

By machine intervention

The electrics need cooled, by twelve fans

So I’d like it back,

From your thieving hands.

Sara-Lou you sonovabitch!

Coming up next...

In the next week or so, followers of Greville and the Tombstones are in for real treat. I am going to be posting some of the sweet lyrics of the songs already in the can for L.P. in quite rapid fire.

Some people earlier this month were asking: "Greville, how many tracks are going to be on the highly anticipated Greville and the Tombstones album: It took the body parts of 7 men to make him but only 1 woman to break his heart, made from 3 men's hearts?"

And I said to them: "Look. There is no highly anticipated album. Because there is no actual band. Why do people keep asking about this? I tweet about there being no actual band all the time! I can't play an instrument and I have never sang in public. Not even along to anything. However, in no way answering your question, I will ask you this: how many tracks are on the greatest album ever made - God Shuffled His Feet, by The Crash Test Dummies?"

And they replied: "12, including the untitled track."

And I said: "There you go."

They weren't sure if it was a parable and I was not convinced of the subtlety of the joke.

For followers of my main blog, the Lore, you may recognise some of the content and songs being blogged in the next week. Just think of it as the cassette flipping over to the A-side again.

Regards,
Greville.

There is no album. Here is the album cover.

A while ago I Twitter announced I would announce the new album title at the strike of noon.

I lost 2 followers.

Then on that strike of noon, I revealed:

It Took The Body Parts Of 7 Men To Make Him But Only 1 Woman To Break His Heart, Made From 3 Men's Hearts

I tweeted the LP cover:

After only 15 minutes of the album tweet, I lost another 2 followers.

This is an imaginary band with pretend songs

Welcome to the blog of Greville and the Tombstones, the gothic alt-country band which only plays in my head, but sometimes bits of it leaks out, hence the need for this sanity saving blog. Obviously.

Here you will find all band news, music stuff and art as well as lyrics to the songs without tunes. In no way are they poems.

To kick things off, with the help of my friend over at Craftiny I have been working on the band logo.

And here it is: the first piece of band art, the band logo!